if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
