I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Randomize
