Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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