Do you still have your period?
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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