I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Randomize