You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
