I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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