I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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