So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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