Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize