apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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