I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
