What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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