Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Randomize
