She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
