I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
