shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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