Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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