The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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