Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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