Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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