Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
