i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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