Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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