ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You need Xanax blowdarts
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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