she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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