Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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