sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
