Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
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