i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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