I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
