ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
