Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
