he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize