she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
