Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
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