Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
