I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
