I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
