so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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