He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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