Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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