Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
