My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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