i think my tv is drunk
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
