Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Randomize
