i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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