I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
