i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
