I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize