Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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