the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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