I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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