so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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