school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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