he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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