Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
