a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
