I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
