There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize