the new term for farting is butt boxing.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
