tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
