So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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