My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
