go do what you do best...puke behind churches
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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