wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
We have so much sex to catch up on
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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